By Lindsey Holcomb
This project is a self-portrait in sculpture and writing and incorporates 579 hand-tied knots in gold wire to honor the days that have passed. They are internalized and tucked away, but still visible in the core. These knots are mirrored as a headpiece in an unknown count, as a nod to the unknown. The head is blank and tilted, with the expression intentionally left to interpretation. Swathed in a heavy copper netting that has been burnt and coated in encaustic medium and pan pastel, this element is armor-like and is a play on opposites. Symbolizing salvation through creativity, the burnt component promises regeneration and a phoenix-like emergence.
579 is a mixed-media sculpture made from glass, gold wire, encaustic, pan pastel, and paper clay that stands 17” tall and is 10” at its widest point.
IMAGE DESCRIPTIONS: Images at different angles of a mixed-media sculpture of a person looking up towards the sky. The white head is made of paper clay, and gold wire hair covers frames its face. The body is made of glass and covered in a wire dress, which opens with a large gaping hole at the center, revealing the glass inside. The sculpture stands 17” tall and is 10” at its widest point.
a small part of me jumped up and down
thinking that surely now
people will understand even a small bit more
how it feels to worry about your health 24/7 how it feels to stay at home
how it feels to not cross the stoop to your
favorite places and experiences
on a whim
579 days.
but this was too great an ask
I wasn't even the friend sister spouse coworker with MS anymore
I was all hands on deck, with zero battery life, plugging a sinking ship
we're all in this together they said as millions of women left the workforce for their own stormy harbors
579 days.
how are you feeling
they asked as a routine question one that I can't answer with a straight face anymore
I can't tell what symptoms are from MS from exhaustion
from anxiety
from depression
from yet another storm coming
anticipated by my swollen joints
579 days.
how are you feeling
we asked each other tentatively
even though we all knew we wanted to scream
between juggling everything
while insisting we're ok
return to normal return to normal
return to normal for who
there is no normal after this
just like there wasn't before these
579 days.
however, as I tie these knots in gold as tears roll down my cheeks
because my memory can't recall
in all of the noise
what happened on day 180 or 240 or 316 or even
day 10
however, I think to myself
I can continue to build my own shield of bright color
through which others may peer through to see how I've metamorphosized because of and in spite of these
579 days.
