Living with Breast Cancer (Twice)
How a Diagnosis Inspired Advocacy, Awareness and Personal Re-Invention
A selfie of Erica wearing a black t-shirt and her blonde wig.
October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. As the month comes to a close, Erica Starr shares how she lives with Triple Negative Breast Cancer and offers advice to other young people living with chronic illness.
Erica’s Story
Erica Starr is sitting in a plush, blue velvet chair with her hair pulled back and a wide smile on her face. Her vibe – like her Manhattan apartment – is ‘chill’ and relaxed as her dog sits comfortably on her lap. If you saw Erica – or ‘Eri’ – as her friends call her, you’d probably never guess that she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer. Twice.
“I was diagnosed at 27 and found the lump myself. I noticed there was a change in my breast and was like ‘oh no I think I have cancer’,” said Starr, 33, who is originally from Queens, NY.
For most people, ‘I think I have cancer’ may have been an unnatural first thought, but the disease runs in Starr’s family. She’d always thought she’d start getting genetic testing and potentially a preventative mastectomy around age 30 – an arbitrary age that Starr said she set herself.
According to the Mayo clinic, “breast cancer is cancer that forms in the cells of the breast.” Breast cancer is the leading cancer of women in the U.S. and 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed in their lifetime.
Both Starr and her mom, turned out to be “the one”. In fact, it turns out that Starr also tested positive for the BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 mutations, meaning she has an increased risk for certain cancers, including ovarian and breast cancer. After finding the initial lump, Starr went to urgent care, followed by the hospital, and then was recommended to meet with a surgeon.
“I met with my GYNO and the surgeon,” said Starr, remembering when she was first diagnosed at 27. “I went to get a mammogram and got a few tests there and I found out, I was stage 3, estrogen positive breast cancer that had spread to my lymph nodes.”
Starr also underwent an intense treatment plan which forced her to sit out of social plans during a time when most of her friends were going out in their 20’s as well as take medical leave from work.
“I had chemo for 20 weeks and then a mastectomy, radiation and then reconstruction where I had fat taken out of my stomach and put in my breasts,” Starr said who was also on hormone therapy for five years after her initial treatment.
Erica and her husband, Nick, on a boat in Central Park after their wedding.
Not Defined by Cancer and Moving Forward
Starr beat cancer, and was living remission when she and her husband wanted to start having a family. Her doctor had recommended getting a baseline scan before proceeding with family plans. While she’d already faced and survived cancer, she wasn’t ready for the news she received following that appointment.
“That’s when they found the positive nodes in my chest that were close to my lungs,” Starr said who is getting treated at NYU Langone.
It was her second breast cancer diagnosis in five years. It wasn’t a recurrence, but a different type of breast cancer: triple negative. While the news would have been devasting to most, Starr began a treatment plan, and said the news was a blessing in disguise.
“If I never wanted to have kids who knows what would have happened and who knows where it would have spread. It didn’t bother me,” said Starr.
Erica wearing a BCRF hat and shirt with pink balloons.
With any challenge comes the chance to either run away from the problem or reinvent yourself to face the challenge head on. Starr had taken medical leave during her first diagnosis, she lived at home with her parents, but wanted to channel her energy towards something productive.
“I didn’t want to be at home watching TV,” said Starr. “I worked hard in school and in life and had desire to give up. I wanted to use the cancer diagnosis and everything I went through to make my life different in a good way.”
Starr also joined 5 Under 40, a non-profit offering support to women going through breast cancer. She picked a blonde wig, utilized nutrition services, and later went with other women to pick out their own wigs. She also sits on the Board of Directors and serves as the Audit Committee Chair for The Pink Agenda (TPA), a non-profit that focuses on awareness and research for breast cancer. As an advocate, Starr also shares personal anecdotes on Instagram and speaks to other young women who were recently diagnosed.
Whether it was the first or second time, Starr says the toughest part is dealing with emotions and behavior from friends and family that come with remission and recurrences.
“You’re fighting, fighting and fighting. Your friends and parents are around. Then, when the cancer went away, everyone was gone and expected you to be back to normal and do the things you used to do before cancer,” said Starr. “That was the harshest reality.”
Advice for Living a Chronic Illness and What’s Next for Starr
Erica and Amanda sitting at a table in a restaurant with plants behind them.
As Breast Cancer Awareness Month comes to a close, Starr mentioned that October can be bring mixed emotions for both survivors and thrivers.
“My first October was the hardest. You see commercials and companies fighting for breast cancer by wearing pink, but it can be trivial how some corporations think of it,” Starr said. “But there is a lot of fun that goes with it October too. It can be really inspiring, and people get motivated during October to spread awareness and donate.”
Whether it’s breast cancer or another chronic illness, Starr said her biggest advice is to advocate for your health and go to a doctor that you can establish a trusting relationship with.
“If something feels off, go to the doctors and if they don’t believe you, go to different doctor until you who find someone who believes you,” Starr said.
In terms of what’s next, Starr is living in the moment and enjoying life. She recently started a new job, got married in the past year, and continues to be an advocate for young women living with breast cancer. Her husband, Nick DiVirgilio, whose been with Starr since the start of her journey, says his wife inspires them to live with both purpose and passion.
“Erica is inspiring because the diagnosis of cancer both times, after initial shock was not an impediment to her life,” DiVirgilio said. “It changed our lives in ways far more positive than the diagnosis. It’s made us resilient, less patient and better people”